As strong as I want to be and as fantastic as I would like to appear...I'm hurt. I've accumulated plenty of bruises over time, and so I wouldn't even be able to put my finger on one scar without being distracted by another. The crazy thing is that most of the scars I've accumulated have come from people who I loved and called friend. I never knew that the people I opened up to and shared precious moments with, would attempt to use my flaws against me. I never knew that they would pretend to like me in my face and attempt to set traps for me in my absence. In time, God revealed those things to me, but that doesn't mean that it didn't hurt. I trusted them, supported them, encouraged them, prayed for them, took loses personally, financially, and embraced them flaws and all, so why couldn't they do the same for me? I went out of my way to be a good friend, and it got me nowhere, but a list of even more insecurities, trust issues, paranoia, and clouded thoughts in judgement. I question myself everyday: who am I, is there something wrong with me, what could I have possibly done to make someone hate me so much?
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