As strong as I want to be and as fantastic as I would like to appear...I'm hurt. I've accumulated plenty of bruises over time, and so I wouldn't even be able to put my finger on one scar without being distracted by another. The crazy thing is that most of the scars I've accumulated have come from people who I loved and called friend. I never knew that the people I opened up to and shared precious moments with, would attempt to use my flaws against me. I never knew that they would pretend to like me in my face and attempt to set traps for me in my absence. In time, God revealed those things to me, but that doesn't mean that it didn't hurt. I trusted them, supported them, encouraged them, prayed for them, took loses personally, financially, and embraced them flaws and all, so why couldn't they do the same for me? I went out of my way to be a good friend, and it got me nowhere, but a list of even more insecurities, trust issues, paranoia, and clouded thoughts in judgement. I question myself everyday: who am I, is there something wrong with me, what could I have possibly done to make someone hate me so much?
Displaced anger is the worse when you're the target, but some people don't care because it's not them. Gossipers are professional journalist with no credibility. They're always the ones who know the least about you while having the most to say. Gossipers, never seem to be able to get the story right. They always find a way to be preoccupied with your business, your agenda, your actions, but never seem to be able to tell the truth. Most Gossipers are nosey people who are self-appointed. They don't need the truth because it sounds so much better when they add their perspective to the story. They have an opinion about you in your absence and love you in your presence. Their victims have called them two-faced, The O'Jays wrote a song and called them backstabbers, but the bible calls them liars, and for those who take it lightly remember that Revelation 21:8 reminds us, "But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”
Hurting people on purpose is not cute. You can not call yourself a Christian by bearing false witness, or by tearing down your fellow brother or sister in Christ. Envy is a terrible thing, and apart of the problem is the fact that the gossiper spends so much time minding the affairs of others that he/she has lost touch with who it is that they were designed to be. Belittling others in their absence doesn't build you up, it makes you look unhappy because you don't know how to facilitate mature conversation without others being the topic of discussion. Gossiping shows that you're jealous of the moves that God is making in the lives of those around you. Gossiping shows that you are ungrateful and unappreciative in regards to what God is doing in your life, it shows your discontent with the work of his hand in your life.
"But for this very purpose have I let you live, that I might show you My power, and that My name may be declared throughout all the earth."-Exodus 9:16. If we were concerned with making a difference half as much as we are concerned with foolishness and mess, the world would be a better place. No matter who you are there is purpose in your life. Regardless of where you come from, despite what you've been through, God thought enough of you to plan every aspect of your existence. Everything from the amount of eyelashes you have, to the exact complexion of skin. You were created to fulfill his purpose in your life not to monitor that of others. When you come to a place where what others think no longer matters, and you choose to represent Jesus with your whole heart, things will begin to fall in place. When you begin to accept and embrace God as the head of your life, you turn your back on the way of the world to face Jesus. You begin to walk in his truth hating the things that he hates and loving the things that he loves. You begin to feel as if a burden has been lifted off of your shoulder because you no longer have to live a lie. Salvation is the difference between hell and eternal life and because Jesus died for the remission of sin, we now have an opportunity to reserve our space in heaven by living lives that please Christ. If people are deterred from chasing God because of the example that you've set, it's time to go back to the drawing board and recommit to Christ. If you say that you represent Christ, but you can't live without the excitement of drama, it's time to surrender to Christ. If you've been hurt and have determined that everyone's out to get you, it's time to give God a chance. If you feel alone and that being alone is the key to peace and happiness, try God. Love is how we overcome hurt, and because God is love the time is nigh for us to draw closer to him.
Dear Lord,
Help us to do better, help us to be better. Help us to realize that as hurt leads to more hurt, love leads to more love. Teach us that of all the things in the world that we need, the approval of others is not one, because you deemed us acceptable from conception. We don't always get it right, but everyday we pray for the courage to be exceptional examples; leading others you. Mend our hearts and bind us to your love that we might not ever forget that you are always with us. Keep us in the mid night hour when our confidence is low and our self esteem tells us that we're worth a fraction and not the whole of what you've designed us to be. Fix us Lord that we might be whole, fix us Lord that we might be better. Uplift us Lord that we might walk in your statues and in your way. We love you Lord and we appreciate another chance to get it right with you. Bless us and keep us all, for it is in your name that we pray, Amen!
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