“... for God gives rest to his loved ones.” -Psalm 127:2
If you’re reading this it is because my hero - my dad has transitioned from labor to reward and has now released the troubles of the world in pursuit of the eternity promised in the sacrificed presented and resurrection demonstrated by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Most dads are cool but I’d like to argue that my dad was indeed THE BEST.
In 1954, just as the mass vaccination of children against polio began and the huge Brown v. Board of Education decision was handed down my father entered this world with a sweet spirit and an impeccable ear for music. He often told me stories about how he would find tools around the house and neighborhood to build instruments that he could play. Although he reported getting in trouble for exploring the depths of blues and swing, daddy never let that deter his desire to sing. In fact, many who heard his voice felt like he was a modern day Sam Cooke and I must say that I too agree.
Daddy himself told us just last week, in his younger years it was the honor of his life to participate in civil rights marches and sing the songs of freedom every step of the way. During his high school years at Jones High School in Orlando, FL daddy sang on a number of published recordings and was an all around outstanding student which laid the foundation for him to be able to work in labs in college, studying chemical engineering and technology. His desire to pursue a number of opportunities led him to the great city of Atlanta, GA where he worked, sang, and served the community until his death.
The miraculous power of God revealed itself in a small space in his apartment at night after which daddy reported hearing the call of God to preach the Gospel. I can’t attest to the day or year (because I didn’t know that the last time I heard the story would be the last time) but I’m glad to report that daddy said YES to “The Call” and the rest is an immaculate testimony of trails, tribulations, but ultimately triumph. You see, thst yes led daddy to pursue college and seminary at all levels and impress his professors with profound knowledge and wisdom that only comes from God.
While I could go on and on into his achievements and accolades, those things don’t seem to mean nearly as much in this moment. The heart healing truth for me today is the personified reality that my dad loved us and showed us in ways that words alone could never even begin to describe.
Dad gave us music!
When we were old enough to walk, dad gifted us with instruments. For me that was the piano, organ, clarinet, and acoustic guitar. Our home was constantly filled with music and dad gave us the space to miss notes and try again without making us feel like our mistakes defined the whole presentation of the piece. Daddy focused on progress and gave notes of improvement from the perspective of a loving dad.
Dad gave us history!
Anyone who ever spent 5 minutes with my dad can tell you that he had a gifted memory that afforded him the opportunity to read, listen, and remember information at a miraculous pace. He was so brilliant that he recently shared with us that he aced all of his professional examinations with flying colors. Dad could recall historic events and tell their stories as if he were there in person. His attention to detail and writing structure afforded us the opportunity to get a glimpse into the genius of God but also the error of our ways if we failed to recognize and critically speak-out against injustice and the unfair treatment of vulnerable populations in this country and beyond.
Dad put his life on the line to save mine!
When I was a junior in high school on our way to our grandmothers home for the holidays and a family funeral our car slipped on black ice and flipped twice with the entire family in the car. While my siblings were ok with a few scratches and bruises my dad decided that he wasn’t going to wait for the ambulance to come to save me, his daughter, he decided to do it himself. The severity of my wounds meant that dad’s courage saved my life and prevented further bleeding. Unfortunately this led to dad needing several surgeries to replace the shattered bones in his hands with metal and swelling and discomfort that he would deal with the remainder of his life. I never heard my dad complain about his hand. Through rehab and self-determination dad figured out a way to continue to play instruments, work, and serve others without complaint.
Over the past few years many, myself included, have stood in opposition of any occurrence of hypocrisy evident in the fellowship of believers. In part because of the impact that manipulation and lies has on the vulnerable but mainly because my father himself was an advocate of integrity and truth. Dad by the power of God had the ability to serve as a conduit for miracles through prayer. I remember when a lady declared dead in the nursing home came back to consciousness after daddy prayed for her. I also recall the many times when dad pulled over to help total strangers having car troubles on the side of the road. My dad would give people the shirt off of his back no questions asked and would never mention or brag about how much he had because he understood that in a moments notice things could change. Dad constantly worked to make a difference and today for me, thats all that matters. Dad took the time to demonstrate servant-leadership.
I decided to pursue higher education outside of the GREAT city of Atlanta, GA leading me to an undergraduate and graduate experience in Virginia. Then a full-time professional internship in Jackson, MS then a promotion to a federal agency (that dad was really proud of) leading me to the beautiful San Antonio, TX. Within the time frame of 10 years dad gave me life advice, moving advice, fiscal advice, professional advice, academic mentorship so much so that he pushed me to pursue just one more degree. None of these things are a testament of my brilliance, but all of these things speak to the power of an encouraging father and the grace of God to create windows and open doors of opportunities that align with the desires of my heart. 10 years later I got the call that the job of my dreams wanted me to move to Atlanta, GA and although I could have moved into an independent space and property I felt that moving home with mom and dad first would be a cool opportunity to teach my parents how to use their iPhones, answer any questions they had about Netflix, and learn as much as I can about the two treasures that raised me. I was super excited about the promotion but I was even more excited about the chance to be surround by live music, active class lectures, and sound advice. In October 2020, Dad welcomed me home and helped me unpack. In December, 2020 we welcomed my baby brother back from his service in Korea with the Army. My dad mentioned last week that he wanted us to get together to sing like we did when we were younger and instead of waiting God put a song on my heart so on December 13, 2020 my younger siblings, my dad, and I sang What a Friend We Have in Jesus (two versions) on facebook live and that is the last time we will all sing together on this side ever again.
While daddy was an exemplary dad he was also a community servant who stood in the full truth of a consistent need to show up for people in a meaningful way leading him to serve in the capacities below and beyond:
- Fulton County Sheriff’s Office as a Chaplain
- The DeKalb County School System in the capacity of PTA President (Midway Elementary School)
- Rehrig Pacific Company in many roles for 40+ years
- The Prison Fellowship as a Chaplain
- Molena, GA and the Molena, GA nursing home as Chaplain (20+ years)
- Greater Ephesus Missionary Baptist Church in whatever capacity needed (29 years)
- The 5th District of the General Missionary Baptist Convention of GA’s Youth Division (20+ years)
- God, Glitter, and Glam Ministries, Inc. (Executive Board Member 5+ years)
- Various Alumni Associations, Ministers Unions, and Civic Engagement Organizations
Dad gave us time, attention, feedback, constructive criticism....and now He has been given rest, for he has prepared to be received by his own.
May the journey of healing begin with this truth that Donel Heflin, Sr. lived a life where many called to testify about how he showed up for them in critical times. That my father was slow to anger and quick to lead in compassion and understanding. May his life reflect the importance of pursuing your dreams and pushing others to do the same. May the legacy of Donel Heflin, Sr. reflect that black-dads have the ability to forge a future for their children by being present. May his life reflect that love covers a multitude of things including space and time to tell the people we love that we love them one more time.
Let us Pray:
Lord,
I thank you for the life of my father and the opportunity to learn from one of your brightest pupils. God I ask that you comfort my family and keep those who are deeply hurt by an unexpected health event in what has already been a trying year in the palm of your hand. Help us oh Lord to honor you as we honor my dad.
In Jesus name,
Amen
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